Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. (John 12:25).
Those who love their life lose it….
This doesn't make sense. If I love my of course I would want to keep it. And if I hate my life, I would very gladly lose it. That which I hate, doesn't really have value. And yet maybe that is what we do. We give it too much value. I tend to hold more tightly to those things that really have no worth in my life. I hold on to clothes that don't fit me anymore. I hold on to feelings that don't serve me anymore. And I hold on to memories that cause me more harm than good. There is a heaviness to the aspects that do not bring life.
But the things that bring life - well that is a whole other story. There is a lightness, in body, mind, and spirit. That which I love feels easier to share. I give away special "happy place" spots because I want others to experience the view. I let go of the feelings that just want to burst out because joy can't be contained. And the things that are received as gifts, are meant to be shared.
But something still isn't making sense. I still don't understand why hating my life would keep it with me into eternity. Hating does keep me from feeling grateful. Hating does keep me from seeing beyond. And Hating does keep me from moving forward. But why would it stay with me? Is it because it's never been shared. Is it because it's never been let go. Or because it's never really been found?
A life that is truly being lived, leaves no room for hate. Because all that space is filled with so much more. But lest I begin to write something that I know isn't actually true, I can't pretend that a life truly lived is all sparkles and roses. Indeed not! A life lived comes with scars. A life lived comes with hearts that have been broken, maybe more than once. And a life lived comes with as many endings as new beginnings.
And these things are hard. And it can make us have moments when we think "I hate my life." But we don't stay there. We can't stay there. It's too much too carry.
And so to lose something does not have to be a negative. To lose our life is to find our life. To lose our live is to gain our life. And to love our life, is to get lost in gratitude and grace.